I talked about him. Prayed about him. Tried to inquire about him.
The excuses flood.
What if I can't do it all. I am tired. We
still have J.
What about when he gets older.
I say: What I am really worried about is that some day we will die. He says: That will happen either way. We will die. He will live. We can care for him in the mean time, if that is what we are supposed to do.
The truth: What I am really concerned about is that I will care. I will not be able to care for him one day and I will CARE. That demonstrates the belief that if I don't look into his adoption, if I don't take him as my OWN child, that I won't care.
But, isn't that the our nature? We care the most about the people closest to us. We care about our parents, our siblings, our spouse and our children. But we can see page after page of orphans, the homeless, the hurting and not really give it much more than a moments notice. And we are NOT BAD PEOPLE. We actually do care that people are hurting, but what can we do? We are easily overwhelmed and easily distracted. Why focus on those we "can't" help? Why take time to let one of those people capture our hearts and our attention.
My truth for today is that Jonathon is mine. If I am able to bring him home or not, I take responsibility for caring about him. If God can care about each hair on my head, I can care about one more little person. This verse reminds me of my value and Jonathon's.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than sparrows. Matthew 10: 29-31
