Unexpected Blessing (Written by Heidi)

Yesterday was my day of fasting. It was not my "scheduled" day of fasting. Monday was my
"scheduled" day of fasting however, due to pure tiredness, I had "rescheduled" my fasting day for Wednesday. Now, most of you know that I hold tight (a little too tight-fisted according to God and others:) to a fairly firm schedule so reworking my day of fasting to Wednesday came with some frustration as I rearranged certain activities for the week that would require my full energy and brain-power(ie, running, visitations to shut-ins with little ones,homeschool prep, etc). Well, Wednesday morning began typical with am chores, a mocha with biblestudy, and a determination to be successful throughout my day of fasting....(how do you measure success when it comes to fasting? Not eating a bite while the kids are snacking on otter pops? Avoiding food when your head begins to throb and your kids are asking "why is your tummy making that funny noise mommy?" Reading a devotion when all you can think about is the laundry that needs to be changed or the 20th pile of poop that needs to be cleaned up? )

I should have known that I had not started my first official day of fasting with a right heart or mind. Though I thought I was doing everything correct as I began the day with prayer and The Word, but I was not really opening my heart and eyes for the Lord to show me His thoughts. As you can expect, Wednesday did not go as well as planned. I believe when we set our mind on good things but do not open our hearts to the Lord, our well planned good "to dos" may not turn out to be the blessing we had intended for them. Thus, after so many "opps, I can't believe I just took a bite of that peanut butter and jelly sandwich", I once again, rescheduled my day of fasting to Thursday.

This time, I started my day in humility, understanding more than the "theology of fasting" and focusing on my heart for the Lord. I came to Him in a plea for specific guidance as I prayed for the orphans throughout the world, the caretakers for these precious children, and the individuals that would touch the children and share God's message of hope and love. Well, God did show and He did answer my prayers! (Why am I always surprised when He does make Himself known? Theology of the mind means little without the Holy Spirit wooing our heart).

Attached is a beautifully written article on adoption. It is more than a "hurrah for adoption". It is a wonderful explanation on how we are all brought together as a beautiful family, through the miracle of God's adoption. Most Christians understand and believe in the "theology" of spiritual adoption into God's family. However, do we always recognize the miracle that occurs as we pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ that we may know or may never know on this earth. Are we aware of the awesome responsibility to care for our family, our family in Christ, while we are serving our Maker on this earth? If we are than we know how humbling that task is and how impossible that task is to accomplish without the grace and mercy of our Savior. We cannot "love our neighbor" fully until we are in Heaven. But with Christ and His Word, we can open our hearts to His Holy Spirit to "woo" us and thus, respond by allowing Him to rearrange our schedule to do the work He has plans for us that day!

One other thing that God provided for me...a realization that God was working in my father's life through the miracle of adoption. You see, my father and what was left of his family miraculously escaped a Russian concentration after WWII. They were given a second life through a S Dakota farmer that chose to answer the call of the Lord by adopting my father's family through Lutheran Federation/Social Service. I do not know much about this man but I can only share that God worked through this man to provide a safe haven for my father. A new life. An opportunity to begin fresh and leave the "earthly hell" that he experienced behind. My father would continue his walk with the Lord in America where he could worship, pray, and experience His daily goodness without fear. Was my father's life perfect with this new life? Absolutely not! But through a simple man that followed the call of Christ, a child was given an opportunity to know the Lord in freedom! An unexpected blessing, I am quite sure, that farmer had not "scheduled" in his day of farming:). May we all leave room for unexpected blessings as we serve our Lord today!

Click Here to read article

-Heidi

Fost-Adopt: County or Agency

Fost – Adopt: County or Agency

When we started our adoption journey, the first big decision (after deciding to pursue a larger family) was whether we should go through the County or an Agency. This was a difficult decision because information gathering wasn’t an exact science. Some people have very strong feelings regarding this choice. My personal opinion is that they both serve a purpose and the “right” choice depends on your goals, your family, your personality, etc… I will try to present pros and cons with both choices and if you read this and think of something I should add, please let me know and I will amend it!! Here is some background information:

County: Many people call the county to start the adoption process. The county has Social Workers dedicated to families who are pursuing adoption and children who are likely going to be placed for adoption. When children come into the Foster Care system, they are processed through the county. The Judge overseeing the case of a specific child directs the care and placement of the child through the County Social Workers. Each child is assigned a social worker. These workers are a gate-keeper for the child’s care. The county also recruits parents to provide care for these children through foster care and adoption. The county will first consider parents who have come directly to the county for placement of the children. Often, the county doesn’t have a suitable placement for the child. That is where the agencies come in. I will get to those next. Because the County begins working with the children from the time they are placed in the foster care system, they are working with all types of children in all types of situations. The children can be completely free for adoption or they can be working toward reunification with a biological relative.

Agency: Agencies step in to help promote and recruit. They work with county social workers to help find families for the children currently in the system. The agencies work with more than one county, so the children they serve can be local or can have come from anywhere in the state (and sometimes country, but I am finding that is rare and complicated.) The children placed in the foster care system are assigned a social worker who remains their advocate through the adoption process. When a family decides to use an agency, the agency provides the family with a social worker to be the family’s advocate. Social workers have the goal of making sure there is a good fit for the child and the family

Pros County:
• First awareness of child’s needs means they will place the youngest of the children with families who are currently working with them (if there is a good match for the child available.)
• Social Workers will look for a match for a child within the families registered with the county first – before considering families with an agency.
• One Social Worker (usually) to communicate with
• Free (or very little money out of pocket.)
• Although they often place children who are working toward reunification, they also consider the desires of an adoptive family who may not be open to that kind of placement.

Cons County:
• PRIDE classes can take 12 weeks to complete (once a week.)
• Social Workers are not necessarily the family advocate
• Social Workers are completely over-worked. 
• Often work with children early in the process, increasing the risk of the child being reunified with a biological family member (this can take years)
• Limited to one county
• If a family moves to a new county during the process, they may have to begin at the beginning with a new county.

Pros Agency:
• Social Worker who is a family advocate
• Some agencies work only with children who are already past the reunification phase so there is little to no chance of the children being returned to a biological family member
• Classes are often held over a weekend instead of over 12 weeks
• Children from all counties in CA are available to families for consideration (families are not limited to the county where they reside.
• Some are Christian agencies

Cons Agency:
• Two Social Workers (sometimes that means double the home visits. Ug.)
• Agencies have to maintain a positive working relationship with the counties in order for the county workers to want to place a child in a home that is registered with that agency
• Can cost (sometimes up to a couple of thousand dollars) - Some are FREE…so do your homework.

What is homework?

PRAY PRAY PRAY

Call the county

Call agencies

Call people you know who have used both

Go on-line and read blogs, read group discussions, etc…
Unfortunately, you can’t compare these two lists side by side to make your decision. Some items may have no weight for your family and some may be (as my dad would say) deal breakers. For us, we wanted as much certainty as possible, that the kids that were placed with us were going to be available for adoption. That outweighed the desire for an infant. (I am glad. I am too tired for an infant.)  I have to admit that I hated having two Social Worker visits, though.

You may have figured out that we did go through an agency. We are talking about our next adoption and we are back to trying to decide if we will pursue that adoption through the same agency or directly though the county. I have talked with many county workers and they are so wonderful, but yet the path I have already traveled is well known. I will let you know what we choose, but I promise – there is NO “right choice” for everyone.

Resources:

http://www.sjgov.org/hsa/Childrens_Services/Foster_Care/index.htm

http://www.sacdhhs.com/article.asp?contentid=926

http://www.lilliput.org/default.aspx

http://www.sierraadoption.org/

http://www.kfh.org/ (Christian)

http://sierravistacares.org/

http://www.sharehomes.org/

http://www.fcadoptions.org/home.htm (Christian)


By they way, all the pictures are of actual waiting children in CA.
~Sandi

What do you say when . . .? Wednesday - Are they brothers?

One of the adoption related questions I am most frequently asked is . . .

"Are they brothers?"

We have 3 precious children. Our daughter (the oldest) is biological and our two sons were both adopted from Korea. So it is obvious that Abby is not biologically related to them, but since they are both Korean people are curious if they are "brothers."

Now, I know that almost 100% of the time I am asked that question, that people really mean to ask if my boys have the same birth parents. I believe it is just out of curiosity. But the question itself send a subtle message if you really think about it. Brothers, in this question, means two boys having the same birth parents. If I answered the question they mean to ask, I would say "No" because they are not related biologically. But my boys are 100% brothers. They have a absolute love and hate relationship with each other. The little one constantly tries to bug the older one. The big one laughs at all the funny stuff his little brother says and does. I often find them sleeping together in the same bed or both crying on the floor after a big fist fight. When they say, "You are not my best friend" to each other, I remind them that they are brothers and that is better than best friends. They will always be brothers.

There are many possible ways to handle this question. My response depends on the situation and my mood at the time.

Usually I say, "Yes, they are definitely brothers, but if you are asking if they are biologically related, they are not." I am not obligated to explain, but I personally like to educate people on the difference between being brothers and having the same birth parents. It sometimes opens up conversations about adoption (of which I can never get enough!). Most of the time people feel a little bad because they never intended on suggesting that they weren't "brothers." I choose this response in hopes that maybe next time they ask an adoptive family that question, they might phrase it in a little more adoption sensitive way.

Other times I just say, "Yes, they are brothers." I leave it at that. Even though I know that they will go away thinking something different than I meant, that's OK. It really is not important if they know that information about my boys. What is important is that my boys understand that no matter what, they are brothers.

This is just my personal response and it might not be the best for every adoptive family. I have friends whose adopted children are biologically related and people will ask if they have the same birth mom and birth dad, or just birth mom. Then it starts getting very personal. We have to first and foremost think about our children and make sure they are receiving accurate messages about adoption and their place in our families.

-Leah

Update - Families in Process

Each week we will be posting an update on the families in the foster care/adoption process that are part of the adoption ministry. If you have updated that you would like included, please email us so we can include you!

1. Vern and Diane Power have completed all the requirements with the county to be placed with a foster child (with the intent to adopt). They are now waiting for a match. Please pray for patience as the wait can be one of the hardest parts of the adoption process.

2. David and Hollie Shorts (planning to adopt through the foster care system) have completed their PRIDE classes through the county and are now in the process of preparing their house for their home inspection. Pray that God would ready their hearts (all 4 of them) for what he has planned for their family.

3. Rebecca Stark is currently in the process of adopting from the foster care system. Pray for patience and perseverance as she and her son prepare their home and complete all the necessary paperwork so they can be placed with a child.

4. Kevin and Leslie Crosby have completed and sent their application to officially start the process of becoming emergency placement foster care providers for children in our county. Pray that they would trust in the Lord to prepare and equip them to love the precious children that will be brought into their home.

5. Time and Sherry Page are beginning the process of adopting John. Due to a court order, John still has two visitations a week which can be very taxing on the family. Pray for strength and perseverance as they continue the journey of adding John to their family forever.

6. Mike and Colleen Selling went to court in June and finalized Jesse's adoption!!! Praise the Lord!

7. Wade and Tammy Russu are attending an orientation for foster adoption in August. Pray for their family as they seek to follow where God is leading their family and for discernment to see if adoption is part of that plan.

8. Mike and Tammy Melton are in the process of adopting their girls Marti and Analiese. Pray for wisdom and perseverance, and that they would be able to get all the needed support for their girls in place before the adoption is finalized.

9. Jarome and Shauna Jacob are planning to attend an orientation this fall to find out more about becoming emergency or respite foster care providers. Pray for guidance as they seek the Lord about serving in this way.

WOW!! Isn't God amazing! The best part is that there are more out there whose hearts are being tugged towards adoption and foster care. Keep praying!!

What do you say when . . . .? Wednesday

As adoptive parents, we sometimes get asked the strangest questions. Things people would never ask about biological children, they sometimes feel free to ask about adopted children. I hope this post helps us (adoptive parents) better answer some of those things that are said to us or asked of us and I hope it helps everyone else have a better understanding of the blessing of adoption.

One of my least favorite questions comes from the most well-meaning people – often the people who are the closest to us and who care the most about us. The question takes many forms, but probably the most common one sounds something like this: “Why do you want to bring in more children. Don’t you think you need to consider the children you already have? They are not all as good as yours, you know.”

My first thought, while laughing, I think, “Wow, if you think mine are good, you really need to spend more time with us!” But really, mine are “good.” They are AWESOME!!! They are each a special, purposed gift from the Lord. So, I am challenged to look at the comment more closely – pray, pray, pray, and examine my heart to see if I can help someone see how much I love the Lord. Because the people making the comment (probably) love us, we need to consider that it is just their concern for us that makes them ask. They might just truly not understand the reasons why we want to do this. I believe that we are called to care for the orphans and widows, the poor, and the stranger. Here are some great words from Isaiah to help us remember what God thinks when we ignore these people:

Isaiah 1:23-25
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless;
the widow's case does not come before them.
Therefore the Lord, the LORD Almighty,
the Mighty One of Israel, declares:
"Ah, I will get relief from my foes
and avenge myself on my enemies.
I will turn my hand against you;
I will thoroughly purge away your dross
and remove all your impurities.

I think we get a pretty good idea about how God feels about these little guys. Why do I want to “bring in another…?” Because, God LOVES that child who is waiting for a family and I have a family who LOVES God. Even if it seems crazy at the time (That will be saved for another post.) Here is a word of encouragement from James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
And, that is why we do it.

-Sandi