Be Changed!

If you decide to take a few minutes to watch this, you WILL be changed.  There is no way to see this without connecting to the message and having your heart moved.

Help Bring Carson Home!!!

There is a precious little 7 year old boy named Carson in an orphanage in Eastern Europe that has the skin disease EP (Epidermolysis Bullosa), and God has, in his amazing and miraculous way, moved the heart of a family in Lodi to adopt him! One of their fundraisers is a Spaghetti Dinner on Saturday, 12/11 at Temple Baptist Church. Tickets are $10 each and Drive Thru is available. If you would like to buy tickets, help this family with future fundraisers, or make a donation to help with their adoption (that costs $30,000), please contact Leah at adoption@fbclodi.org.

Follow their journey to Carson at their blog:

http://bringingcarsonhome.blogspot.com

His Adoption Ministry - We're just invited!

The Adoption Ministry at FBC started officially in 2006, so we just celebrated our 4th year! I am often asked by people who desire to start similar ministries at their church how to go about starting an Adoption/Orphan Ministry. For the first 3 years of ministry, I would have said something like the following, "Plan events, seminars, monthly meetings, host a blog, socials, etc. . .". For 3 years, that is what the ministry looked like. I often felt tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated. I realize now that I was trying to run the ministry in my own strength and in my own timing. I even remember asking God to give the church a certain number of adoption by a certain deadline. Sometimes I would wonder if it was worth all the time and effort, but as each family expressed interest, and each child joined a family, God would remind me that all the work would be worth it for just one child to find a home.

Fast forward to the present. When I am asked that same question, my response is, "Pray! Pray! Pray!" I have finally let go of the control (I never really was in control, but just tried to be). I pray and wait on God to show us the next step. He has blown me away more times than I could even describe. He has literally set up events, contacts, and meetings without any of my help! The most amazing thing is that he is working on hearts. The adoption team has a list of families that we think would be amazing adoptive families, and we pray regularly for God to move the hearts of these families to adoption or foster care if that is in his perfect plan for them(some know about it and some don't :-). Over and over it has happened that families on my "list" come up an mention an interest in adoption. And why am I so often surprised? Why wouldn't God move the hearts of his children to care for his fatherless children?

I bring this up because lately I have been wanting to contact the CASA organization(Court Appointed Special Advocate) to come and make a presentatin at church. It has been sitting on my "to do" list for awhile (as things often do). Yesterday in the mail I received a DVD from a woman of God in our church that highlighted the CASA program. I laughed and told God, "OK, I guess it is time to make that call." See how easy it is?

So, if you have a heart to start an adoption ministry at your church, just start praying. Pray for families to be moved to care for orphans (make a list of their names), pray for your church leadership to become passionate for the fatherless, pray for guidance and direction of what to do when. Each ministry is different. There is no secret recipe. Just know that God has been in the Ministry of orphan care and adoption since the beginning of time and he is more than ready to guide and lead anyone who would like to join Him.

For those of you part of the Adoption Ministry in Lodi, you are going to be blown away with what he is doing! I can hardly even believe it! Off the top of my head there have been 13 children placed for adoption, 3 families in the process (at least), and many more looking into adoption and gathering information. Honestly, I feel like we haven't seen anything yet! I know I am being a tease, but seriously, God is mighty busy sowing the seeds of adoption and foster care in our church body and I believe the harvest is going to be huge. I can't wait!

Foster Care and Foster Adoption Orientation

Foster Parenting and Foster Adoption Orientation - Sunday, 10/17

In the gym at 9:45am, the Adoption Ministry will be hosting an orientation for anyone interested in learning about foster parenting (including emergency and respite care) or adoption through the foster care. A representative from the San Joaquin County HSA will be informing us about how we, as families of FBC, can play a role in the lives of orphans in our county. These children in the foster care system, who have often experienced great hurt and loss, need adults who can love them with the love that only Jesus can offer. Please come, learn more, and show the county that we are passionate about helping orphans in our area. Invite friends or anyone you know that might be interested. For more information, please email the adoption ministry at adoption@fbclodi.org or call Leah at 277-4543.

Prayer!

One of the reasons we decided to set aside a specific day of prayer and fasting last week, was because we learned through A Place Called Simplicity (a blog written by an wonderful adoptive mom) that many believers were joining together that day to pray for orphans. The most awesome part of praying and fasting is that it gives us direct access to see God’s goodness. When I join with other believers in this way, I REMEMBER to pray for the things God has placed on my heart and, better yet, I REMEMBER to check up on those things to give HIM the glory for the answer. During this time, we did see God move in some amazing ways. Feel free to hop on over to Linny’s Blog and read all about it. It is so worth your time. It is my privilege to continue to pray for the people in our church and in the adoption group. Here are some prayer requests and praises for those of you who want to join with us!




Prayer update:



Please pray for the Paige Family. The court is due to terminate the parental rights of John’s biological mother on Wednesday, September 22 in the morning. Once that is completed, John will no longer have to have visits with her. The visits are very traumatic for John and his parents.



Praise for the Power family! Baby Mathew is adorable and was the highlight of this month’s adoption meeting!



Praise for Kevin and Leslie Crosby as they have finished their homestudy and are waiting for a referral for an emergency placement.



Pray for the Russu family as they are seeking the agency that would be the best fit for their family.



Pray for Rebecca Stark as she is in process of getting licensed.



Pray for the Huck family as they search for the best place to care for their daughter Janice.



Pray for the Morefields, for their discernment about how they should proceed.



Pray for the Goehring’s possible move so that they can begin the adoption process again.



Pray for all of those who have adopted children with “special needs” and for them to have the help and patience they need.



Pray for everyone who is in process of getting their homestudies done (please add your name if you are willing to share. I didn’t permission to share from everyone…yet!)



Pray for all of those who are considering the process that they will wait patiently on God’s timing.



Pray for the kids who will be coming into our families – for their safety, for their security, for their piece of mind, for them to have hope.



Pray that through the adoption process that all of us would see God’s work.

Pray for Beth (12 year old orphan in China)

I just read this post about a sweet, healthy 12 year old girl in China that needs a home. She is getting close to the age where children can no longer be adopted. Please pray for Beth to find a home. Here is the post.

http://strandfam.blogspot.com/2010/08/this-precious-girl-needs-family.html

Also, this family has an amazing adoption story if you scroll down on the blog. Another miracle only God could do!

Day of Prayer and Fasting for Adoptions - Sept. 8th

This coming Wednesday, a group of people from all over the United States are joining together to pray for families whose children are waiting to come home. Many have waited months and years and are still experiencing much opposition. Please join us in praying for these families along with families in our ministry in Lodi.

Here are the 2 posts that explain the Crazy Love Challenge:

Part one is Why does it have to be so hard?
Part two is Why does it have to be so hard? - Part 2

There is a place at the end of part 2 for families in the process who need prayer to get their child(ren) home can post their story. She is asking that we (as those who are passionate about orphans and adoption) join with MANY others around the U.S. in praying for God to bring these children home.

On Wednesday night from 7 - 7:45pm a couple of us are planning to pray in the prayer room during Pioneer clubs. Please feel free to come and join us in prayer. While we lift up the families on the blog, here are some prayer requests from our group:

1. Praise for baby Martin's arrival to the Power family. Pray for the adjustment and bonding to go well! Pray for strength as they begin the process to make him their own!
2. Tony and Dee Morefield go for their San Joaquin County Orientation this week. Pray for wisdom and guidance.
3. Pray for the Goehrings and the house that they have an offer in on. Pray for bank approval of their loan and that they also would be patient and trust God's timing in providing them a new house (so they can begin the adoption process again!)
4. Pray for Rebecca Stark as she continues in the process of adopting through the foster care system.
5. Pray for guidance and wisdom for the Huck Family as they help their daughter Janice plan for her future.
6. Pray for the Crosby Family as they have finished their classes and are ready for emergency placements of foster children. Pray for courage and strength as they seek to be light in an area of darkness in our county.



I know there are some more requests, so feel free to post them in the comments or email them to me and I will add them. I can't wait to see God move!!!!

Power Family has a Baby!!!!

Update!!!!

This past Friday (9/3), Vern, Diane, and Jordyn Power brought home baby Martin. He is about 2 months old and is adorable! It was so fun to see him at church today! We are putting together a meal list and throwing a shower for Diane in the next couple weeks, so let us know if you would like to be a part of the celebration.

Vern and Diane are working with Sacramento County and hoping to adopt baby Martin:-) Pray for them as they begin the process and for their attachment and adjustment!

What do You Say When...? Wednesday

I had a really great time at the adoption panel the other day. It was fun to see all the faces of everyone who is even a little bit curious about adoption. There are so many choices and different ways to pursue growing your family through adoption that it seems like we could ask and answer questions all day.

One question that was asked was: The kids I have now seem to have unique needs that I don’t always feel I can adequately meet. How do I justify bringing in another child? And how does adoption affect the biological or adopted children already in your home? I am (of course) paraphrasing since it has been a while since we met. I think these two questions compliment each other so I am going to give my best shot at answering them.

First – the easier of the two: I think that children greatly benefit from having siblings. Not everyone agrees with this, that is why I said, “I think.” It is only my opinion. If you are still reading, I think that siblings give us someone to lean on as parents grow older. Your children may sacrifice small things now (like having their own room or more expensive vacations) but reap the rewards later (like having a babysitter for their kids and someone with whom to split the cost of Mom and Dad’s Christmas gift.) Also, I think adoption teaches God’s plan of salvation in a very real and very hands-on way. As we are adopted into God’s family, we can adopt someone into ours. There are so many more reasons why adoption can be a great character building exercise for your kids.

Second – the tougher question of how to meet everyone’s individual needs. My best response is that meeting the needs of your kids is God’s job, but that answer can sound like I am just dismissing the question. I will only be able to answer from personal experience. I wanted to adopt long before we actually started the process. I believe God intervened to give our family HIS perfect timing. Because we were diligently seeking His will through the whole thing, I believe He rewarded us in this way. Waiting didn’t feel like a reward at the time, but God always sees the big picture. I believe that the only way to truly meet the needs of our kids is through prayer. Also, you may find that your kids become less needy as new kids come into the home. The kids, themselves, find less reason to want your constant attention because they are distracted by their siblings. Don’t forget to encourage the older kids to help too! Even my 5 year old helps tie his 3 year old sister’s shoes. He is so proud when he helps. I know people who make “dates” for one-on-one time with their kids. Focus on the Family is a great resource for family ideas. Also, talk to parents of “big” families and see how they do it! All kids and families are unique so it is ultimately up to you to find what works, but prayer works universally!

Even though the panel time is over, many people who have adopted are eager to share their adoption experiences and are happy to answer questions if you have them!

Being prepared for adoption - marathon style

Hebrews 12:1b-3

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so you will not grow weary and lose heart.

When you decide to run a marathon, you don't just go out and run it. You choose a training plan and start off with very short runs that are fairly easy for you. To reach the goal of running 26.2 miles, you have to begin to increase your mileage. You start out by pushing your body just a little bit more than you you have been used to previously - about 1 mile longer. On that slightly longer run, you feel good until you hit the point where you are running farther than you have ever run before, then you begin to hurt a little. Your knees ache (at least mine do) and your muscles begin to get tired, but amazingly, after doing the same distance a couple of times, it doesn't hurt anymore and even starts to seem easy. At that point, you up the mileage again until you can run 20+ miles without too much pain and injury.

Last night, God brought this comparison to my mind and reminded me that even though I want Him to bring me my next child(ren) right now, he knows I am not ready yet. Lately, life (kids, schedules, relationships, business, house, etc.) has been pushing me to the point that I often feel overwhelmed. At these moments, I don't think I can handle even one more thing - much less another child! It is very tempting to see this as a "sign" that I should just stick with the status quo and not pursue adoption again. And believe me, this thought has crossed my mind many times. But that is not the case, God is preparing me for the time when he will bring another child into our family. Just like the training runs, I need to be pushed a little further beyond what is comfortable and what I think I can handle. Is it painful? Absolutely! But when I fix my eyes on the goal(marathon/adopting again), it is not only worth it, it is necessary.

Could we bring home another child tomorrow? Yes, and we would survive. Could I get up in the morning and run a marathon tomorrow? Yes, but I would be setting myself up for serious injury and pain that would last for quite a while. Why? Because I am not ready.

So now I am asking God to overwhelm me (A very dangerous prayer - I know). I want to grow. I want to be able to handle more chaos in my house and still hold it together with Christ's help. The funny thing is that now that I am asking to be "prepared" in this way, I am not surprised when I start to feel overwhelmed.

When God has decided that we are prepared adequately and decides to reveal who our next child will be, that is when the actual marathon will begin. Even when well trained, a marathon is not easy. It is harder and longer than any of the training runs. But through the training, we will have learned that we are strong enough (with Christ) to endure even when our body feels like it is going to fail us. Adopting will push you to your limits (and beyond) in so many ways. It is hard and painful, but in the end (when we meet Jesus face to face), obeying God's call on our lives will be so worth every bit of it!

So if you feel pushed beyond what you think you can handle, be encouraged! God is just taking you on a training run for something big he is wanting to do in your life.

We Can Open Our Eyes and Our Lives

“...orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.

They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.

It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms...

.... but once you do, everything changes.

So when you & I hear staggering numbers & statistics about the poor & needy around us & around the world, we have a choice.

We can switch the channels on our mega T.V’s and continue our comfortable, untroubled, ordinary, church-going lives as if the global poor don’t exist.

We can let these numbers remain cold, distant, and almost imaginary....

Or we can open our eyes and our lives to the realities that surround us and begin considering the faces that are represented by these numbers.”

-David Platt

 

If you liked this and still want more...http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/a-chronicle-of-redemption-part-3-failed-kings-in-a-united-kingdom/a287  (Cut and paste this to your browswer.)  If that doesn't get you there, just look for the Church at Brook Hills. A Chronicle Of Redemption - Part 3: Failed Kings in a United Kingdom

August Adoption Events

Adoption Forum and Pizza Lunch

Sunday, August 22

12:15pm - 2:00pm

Lunch on Playground@ 12:15pm/Forum @ 1pm in Children's Building

Come and listen to adoptive families as they share about their adoption experiences. Foster Adoption, International adoption, and private domestic adoption will all be represented. This is a great place to begin learning about the types of adoption and exploring if adoption if God's plan for your family. Bring the whole family to the playground area for a pizza lunch at 12:15 (after late service). At 1:00 we will move into the children's building for the forum. Childcare will be provided. The forum will be officially over at 2pm, but families will stick around to answer any additional questions you may have. If you know of anyone considering adoption, please invite them to this event. It is one of the most helpful in learning about adoption.

Adoption Small Group

Wednesday, August 18

6:30pm-7:45pm

FBC Children's Building (1st room on your left)

Every month during the school year, the adoption group meets on the 3rd Wednesday of the month to catch up on families in the adoption process, talk about adoption related issues, and pray for each other. August is our first meeting of the school year. Childcare will be provided. Anyone who has adopted or fostered, is in the process, is considering adoption or foster care, or is interested in learning more is welcome to join us. It is a relaxed environment where families can share about all aspects of adoption and foster care.

Adoption Small Group

Wednesday, September 16

6:30pm-7:45pm

FBC Children's Building (1st room on your left)

See description above. In September, the Pioneer Club Kids Programs have started. Classes are provided for children ages 0-Jr. high. Clubs start at 6:15pm, so drop off your kids and join us in the children's building. Every Wednesday, during Pioneer Clubs, dinner is served in the gym (at low cost) starting at 5:00pm. Feel free to come before group and get dinner!

These are the children the Lord saw fit to bless me with.

This is a blog that I follow. I had to share these words of truth about adoption.
-Leah

By Katie in Uganda:
teenagers and a lesson from Jacob.


I come to you humbly asking for prayer. Especially for my three oldest daughters, and for wisdom for me! All mommas know it: teenagers are hard. Three teenage girls are harder. Three teenage girls from different tribes and cultures and pasts trying to live together in one bedroom are harder still.

In an effort to be real, I want to tell you. Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. Adoption is also HARD and painful. Adoption of older children is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the GOSPEL in my living room. And some times, it just stinks.

As a parent, it stinks to not know when your daughter took her first steps or what her first word was or what she looked like in Kindergarten. It stinks not to know where she slept and whose shoulder she cried on and what the scar on her eyebrow is from. It stinks to know that for ten years of her precious life you were NOT the shoulder she cried on or the Mommy she hugged.

As a child, it stinks to remember your biological parents’ death, not matter how much you love your new Mom. It stinks to have your mom be a different color than you because, inevitably, people are going to ask why. It stinks that your Mom wasn’t there for all the times you had no dinner and all the times you were sick and all the times you needed help with your homework. It stinks when you have to make up your birthday. It skinks when you can’t understand the concept of being a family forever because your first family wasn’t forever.

And every single day, it is worth it. Because ADOPTION IS GOD’S HEART. He sets the lonely in families. Adoption is the reason that I can come before God’s throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day, it is not what I am doing to “help these poor kids out.” I adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress. I adopt because to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. I adopt because whoever finds his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for HIS sake will find it.

Some days, my friends, it is not easy. Today, it is not easy. The HURT in my daughters’ hearts is big and real and as their mother, I want to fix it and know that I CAN’T. So I lay it at the feet of my Father and rejoice to know that if we are children, then we are heirs - of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings - in order that we may also share in His glory. And I call out to the Holy Spirit knowing that He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for us.

A sweet friend pointed me yesterday to Genesis Chapter 33. Esau and Jacob are meeting for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, “ And who are these with you?”

Jacob’s reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

We get all the questions. “Why do you do it?” “Why so many?” “How in the world…” “Why these specific girls?” “Why the number 14?” “Do you think its ok to adopt as a single Mother? Don’t they need a father too?” “Do you think they will have issues since you are not the same race?” We also get the compliments. “I don’t know how you do it!” “Good job!” “You must be so responsible!” “Your girls must be so well behaved.” We get crazy stares and huge smiles and every look in between.

Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard. Adoption is the Gospel of Christ and the promise of God’s love and redemption lived out in our lives. So I ask for your prayers. Prayers for understanding and peace and trust and the power of God that is more than all I can ask or imagine. And to the questions and the comments and the compliments, this is my reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”

http://www.amazima.org/blog.html

Unexpected Blessing (Written by Heidi)

Yesterday was my day of fasting. It was not my "scheduled" day of fasting. Monday was my
"scheduled" day of fasting however, due to pure tiredness, I had "rescheduled" my fasting day for Wednesday. Now, most of you know that I hold tight (a little too tight-fisted according to God and others:) to a fairly firm schedule so reworking my day of fasting to Wednesday came with some frustration as I rearranged certain activities for the week that would require my full energy and brain-power(ie, running, visitations to shut-ins with little ones,homeschool prep, etc). Well, Wednesday morning began typical with am chores, a mocha with biblestudy, and a determination to be successful throughout my day of fasting....(how do you measure success when it comes to fasting? Not eating a bite while the kids are snacking on otter pops? Avoiding food when your head begins to throb and your kids are asking "why is your tummy making that funny noise mommy?" Reading a devotion when all you can think about is the laundry that needs to be changed or the 20th pile of poop that needs to be cleaned up? )

I should have known that I had not started my first official day of fasting with a right heart or mind. Though I thought I was doing everything correct as I began the day with prayer and The Word, but I was not really opening my heart and eyes for the Lord to show me His thoughts. As you can expect, Wednesday did not go as well as planned. I believe when we set our mind on good things but do not open our hearts to the Lord, our well planned good "to dos" may not turn out to be the blessing we had intended for them. Thus, after so many "opps, I can't believe I just took a bite of that peanut butter and jelly sandwich", I once again, rescheduled my day of fasting to Thursday.

This time, I started my day in humility, understanding more than the "theology of fasting" and focusing on my heart for the Lord. I came to Him in a plea for specific guidance as I prayed for the orphans throughout the world, the caretakers for these precious children, and the individuals that would touch the children and share God's message of hope and love. Well, God did show and He did answer my prayers! (Why am I always surprised when He does make Himself known? Theology of the mind means little without the Holy Spirit wooing our heart).

Attached is a beautifully written article on adoption. It is more than a "hurrah for adoption". It is a wonderful explanation on how we are all brought together as a beautiful family, through the miracle of God's adoption. Most Christians understand and believe in the "theology" of spiritual adoption into God's family. However, do we always recognize the miracle that occurs as we pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ that we may know or may never know on this earth. Are we aware of the awesome responsibility to care for our family, our family in Christ, while we are serving our Maker on this earth? If we are than we know how humbling that task is and how impossible that task is to accomplish without the grace and mercy of our Savior. We cannot "love our neighbor" fully until we are in Heaven. But with Christ and His Word, we can open our hearts to His Holy Spirit to "woo" us and thus, respond by allowing Him to rearrange our schedule to do the work He has plans for us that day!

One other thing that God provided for me...a realization that God was working in my father's life through the miracle of adoption. You see, my father and what was left of his family miraculously escaped a Russian concentration after WWII. They were given a second life through a S Dakota farmer that chose to answer the call of the Lord by adopting my father's family through Lutheran Federation/Social Service. I do not know much about this man but I can only share that God worked through this man to provide a safe haven for my father. A new life. An opportunity to begin fresh and leave the "earthly hell" that he experienced behind. My father would continue his walk with the Lord in America where he could worship, pray, and experience His daily goodness without fear. Was my father's life perfect with this new life? Absolutely not! But through a simple man that followed the call of Christ, a child was given an opportunity to know the Lord in freedom! An unexpected blessing, I am quite sure, that farmer had not "scheduled" in his day of farming:). May we all leave room for unexpected blessings as we serve our Lord today!

Click Here to read article

-Heidi

Fost-Adopt: County or Agency

Fost – Adopt: County or Agency

When we started our adoption journey, the first big decision (after deciding to pursue a larger family) was whether we should go through the County or an Agency. This was a difficult decision because information gathering wasn’t an exact science. Some people have very strong feelings regarding this choice. My personal opinion is that they both serve a purpose and the “right” choice depends on your goals, your family, your personality, etc… I will try to present pros and cons with both choices and if you read this and think of something I should add, please let me know and I will amend it!! Here is some background information:

County: Many people call the county to start the adoption process. The county has Social Workers dedicated to families who are pursuing adoption and children who are likely going to be placed for adoption. When children come into the Foster Care system, they are processed through the county. The Judge overseeing the case of a specific child directs the care and placement of the child through the County Social Workers. Each child is assigned a social worker. These workers are a gate-keeper for the child’s care. The county also recruits parents to provide care for these children through foster care and adoption. The county will first consider parents who have come directly to the county for placement of the children. Often, the county doesn’t have a suitable placement for the child. That is where the agencies come in. I will get to those next. Because the County begins working with the children from the time they are placed in the foster care system, they are working with all types of children in all types of situations. The children can be completely free for adoption or they can be working toward reunification with a biological relative.

Agency: Agencies step in to help promote and recruit. They work with county social workers to help find families for the children currently in the system. The agencies work with more than one county, so the children they serve can be local or can have come from anywhere in the state (and sometimes country, but I am finding that is rare and complicated.) The children placed in the foster care system are assigned a social worker who remains their advocate through the adoption process. When a family decides to use an agency, the agency provides the family with a social worker to be the family’s advocate. Social workers have the goal of making sure there is a good fit for the child and the family

Pros County:
• First awareness of child’s needs means they will place the youngest of the children with families who are currently working with them (if there is a good match for the child available.)
• Social Workers will look for a match for a child within the families registered with the county first – before considering families with an agency.
• One Social Worker (usually) to communicate with
• Free (or very little money out of pocket.)
• Although they often place children who are working toward reunification, they also consider the desires of an adoptive family who may not be open to that kind of placement.

Cons County:
• PRIDE classes can take 12 weeks to complete (once a week.)
• Social Workers are not necessarily the family advocate
• Social Workers are completely over-worked. 
• Often work with children early in the process, increasing the risk of the child being reunified with a biological family member (this can take years)
• Limited to one county
• If a family moves to a new county during the process, they may have to begin at the beginning with a new county.

Pros Agency:
• Social Worker who is a family advocate
• Some agencies work only with children who are already past the reunification phase so there is little to no chance of the children being returned to a biological family member
• Classes are often held over a weekend instead of over 12 weeks
• Children from all counties in CA are available to families for consideration (families are not limited to the county where they reside.
• Some are Christian agencies

Cons Agency:
• Two Social Workers (sometimes that means double the home visits. Ug.)
• Agencies have to maintain a positive working relationship with the counties in order for the county workers to want to place a child in a home that is registered with that agency
• Can cost (sometimes up to a couple of thousand dollars) - Some are FREE…so do your homework.

What is homework?

PRAY PRAY PRAY

Call the county

Call agencies

Call people you know who have used both

Go on-line and read blogs, read group discussions, etc…
Unfortunately, you can’t compare these two lists side by side to make your decision. Some items may have no weight for your family and some may be (as my dad would say) deal breakers. For us, we wanted as much certainty as possible, that the kids that were placed with us were going to be available for adoption. That outweighed the desire for an infant. (I am glad. I am too tired for an infant.)  I have to admit that I hated having two Social Worker visits, though.

You may have figured out that we did go through an agency. We are talking about our next adoption and we are back to trying to decide if we will pursue that adoption through the same agency or directly though the county. I have talked with many county workers and they are so wonderful, but yet the path I have already traveled is well known. I will let you know what we choose, but I promise – there is NO “right choice” for everyone.

Resources:

http://www.sjgov.org/hsa/Childrens_Services/Foster_Care/index.htm

http://www.sacdhhs.com/article.asp?contentid=926

http://www.lilliput.org/default.aspx

http://www.sierraadoption.org/

http://www.kfh.org/ (Christian)

http://sierravistacares.org/

http://www.sharehomes.org/

http://www.fcadoptions.org/home.htm (Christian)


By they way, all the pictures are of actual waiting children in CA.
~Sandi

What do you say when . . .? Wednesday - Are they brothers?

One of the adoption related questions I am most frequently asked is . . .

"Are they brothers?"

We have 3 precious children. Our daughter (the oldest) is biological and our two sons were both adopted from Korea. So it is obvious that Abby is not biologically related to them, but since they are both Korean people are curious if they are "brothers."

Now, I know that almost 100% of the time I am asked that question, that people really mean to ask if my boys have the same birth parents. I believe it is just out of curiosity. But the question itself send a subtle message if you really think about it. Brothers, in this question, means two boys having the same birth parents. If I answered the question they mean to ask, I would say "No" because they are not related biologically. But my boys are 100% brothers. They have a absolute love and hate relationship with each other. The little one constantly tries to bug the older one. The big one laughs at all the funny stuff his little brother says and does. I often find them sleeping together in the same bed or both crying on the floor after a big fist fight. When they say, "You are not my best friend" to each other, I remind them that they are brothers and that is better than best friends. They will always be brothers.

There are many possible ways to handle this question. My response depends on the situation and my mood at the time.

Usually I say, "Yes, they are definitely brothers, but if you are asking if they are biologically related, they are not." I am not obligated to explain, but I personally like to educate people on the difference between being brothers and having the same birth parents. It sometimes opens up conversations about adoption (of which I can never get enough!). Most of the time people feel a little bad because they never intended on suggesting that they weren't "brothers." I choose this response in hopes that maybe next time they ask an adoptive family that question, they might phrase it in a little more adoption sensitive way.

Other times I just say, "Yes, they are brothers." I leave it at that. Even though I know that they will go away thinking something different than I meant, that's OK. It really is not important if they know that information about my boys. What is important is that my boys understand that no matter what, they are brothers.

This is just my personal response and it might not be the best for every adoptive family. I have friends whose adopted children are biologically related and people will ask if they have the same birth mom and birth dad, or just birth mom. Then it starts getting very personal. We have to first and foremost think about our children and make sure they are receiving accurate messages about adoption and their place in our families.

-Leah

Update - Families in Process

Each week we will be posting an update on the families in the foster care/adoption process that are part of the adoption ministry. If you have updated that you would like included, please email us so we can include you!

1. Vern and Diane Power have completed all the requirements with the county to be placed with a foster child (with the intent to adopt). They are now waiting for a match. Please pray for patience as the wait can be one of the hardest parts of the adoption process.

2. David and Hollie Shorts (planning to adopt through the foster care system) have completed their PRIDE classes through the county and are now in the process of preparing their house for their home inspection. Pray that God would ready their hearts (all 4 of them) for what he has planned for their family.

3. Rebecca Stark is currently in the process of adopting from the foster care system. Pray for patience and perseverance as she and her son prepare their home and complete all the necessary paperwork so they can be placed with a child.

4. Kevin and Leslie Crosby have completed and sent their application to officially start the process of becoming emergency placement foster care providers for children in our county. Pray that they would trust in the Lord to prepare and equip them to love the precious children that will be brought into their home.

5. Time and Sherry Page are beginning the process of adopting John. Due to a court order, John still has two visitations a week which can be very taxing on the family. Pray for strength and perseverance as they continue the journey of adding John to their family forever.

6. Mike and Colleen Selling went to court in June and finalized Jesse's adoption!!! Praise the Lord!

7. Wade and Tammy Russu are attending an orientation for foster adoption in August. Pray for their family as they seek to follow where God is leading their family and for discernment to see if adoption is part of that plan.

8. Mike and Tammy Melton are in the process of adopting their girls Marti and Analiese. Pray for wisdom and perseverance, and that they would be able to get all the needed support for their girls in place before the adoption is finalized.

9. Jarome and Shauna Jacob are planning to attend an orientation this fall to find out more about becoming emergency or respite foster care providers. Pray for guidance as they seek the Lord about serving in this way.

WOW!! Isn't God amazing! The best part is that there are more out there whose hearts are being tugged towards adoption and foster care. Keep praying!!

What do you say when . . . .? Wednesday

As adoptive parents, we sometimes get asked the strangest questions. Things people would never ask about biological children, they sometimes feel free to ask about adopted children. I hope this post helps us (adoptive parents) better answer some of those things that are said to us or asked of us and I hope it helps everyone else have a better understanding of the blessing of adoption.

One of my least favorite questions comes from the most well-meaning people – often the people who are the closest to us and who care the most about us. The question takes many forms, but probably the most common one sounds something like this: “Why do you want to bring in more children. Don’t you think you need to consider the children you already have? They are not all as good as yours, you know.”

My first thought, while laughing, I think, “Wow, if you think mine are good, you really need to spend more time with us!” But really, mine are “good.” They are AWESOME!!! They are each a special, purposed gift from the Lord. So, I am challenged to look at the comment more closely – pray, pray, pray, and examine my heart to see if I can help someone see how much I love the Lord. Because the people making the comment (probably) love us, we need to consider that it is just their concern for us that makes them ask. They might just truly not understand the reasons why we want to do this. I believe that we are called to care for the orphans and widows, the poor, and the stranger. Here are some great words from Isaiah to help us remember what God thinks when we ignore these people:

Isaiah 1:23-25
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless;
the widow's case does not come before them.
Therefore the Lord, the LORD Almighty,
the Mighty One of Israel, declares:
"Ah, I will get relief from my foes
and avenge myself on my enemies.
I will turn my hand against you;
I will thoroughly purge away your dross
and remove all your impurities.

I think we get a pretty good idea about how God feels about these little guys. Why do I want to “bring in another…?” Because, God LOVES that child who is waiting for a family and I have a family who LOVES God. Even if it seems crazy at the time (That will be saved for another post.) Here is a word of encouragement from James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
And, that is why we do it.

-Sandi