Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Devil's Advocate
Nausea returned, as my hands started shaking. I realized that I should have had more than a Diet Pepsi before trying to take on this meeting. I alternated between hot and cold and my fingers were tingling. As I left the Doctor’s office and walked the very short distance between the two buildings, my ears began ringing and the intensity of my discomfort increased. I realized I was physically not going to be able to get through this on my own. I started to pray. I silently called out to God asking Him to help. I had been praying, off and on, but now I was pleading. I had no idea how to face the person who put this tiny baby I was carrying though so much agony. It was HER fault he struggled to eat, HER fault that he would have learning delays, and HER fault that he would never have the perfect family that God intended. I prayed. I needed God to touch my heart and quick. I was going to see her in just minutes. I was 5 minutes late.
Thankfully, God always answers. As I walked, God quietly spoke, “I love her too.” The words struck a cord and I was convicted. I (in my sin) DIDN’T love her too. I didn’t love her at all. I placed all the blame right at her feet and never considered her worthy of love and forgiveness. Then, God reminded me, “I loved her first.” In God’s eyes, our precious little peanut was no more important than his mom. (I am reminded of the Prodigal Son in Luke) SHE is loved by him. SHE is important to Him! A few feet from the door, the door I would walk through and see her for the first time, my heart melted. I felt so much love for her. Only the love that God the Father can give. I was completely humbled that God chose to overlook my sins and is offering her the same. I was convicted for thinking that the problems of this person are any more horrible in the sight of God than the things I have done. Who was I to judge her? I started to pray again. I asked for forgiveness for my hardened heart and felt forgiven. I asked for a sensitive heart for her so that I would be able to pray for her and all that she is going through and God answered.
I can’t pretend to know what has brought her to this place, or what it is going to take to help her get to a place that she is healthy and can be a mother to her son. I know that after meeting her and the father of the baby, I pray constantly for their struggles. They are greatly loved by God and I know He has amazing plans for them and for their lives as a family. I do all I can to show them the love of God and share about Jesus’ transforming strength.
Our society likes labels: Good Guys and Bad Guys. Victim and Perpetrator. Friend and Enemy. I see now that we have only one enemy and that is the enemy of our soul who seeks to destroy families. This mom, who I saw as the enemy is really a victim of the real enemy. She is not the devil, she is his prey. I will continue to bring her to the Lord in PRAY – ER!!!! The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
4 pages...75 per page
If you're like me, and I know I am (hee hee - thanks for that quote David O.) you spend evenings "browsing" orphan sites, videos, and photolistings. I know, it could be an illness. I tell my husband I am doing some online gambling just to put his mind at ease. (hee hee again, I don't really lie to my hubby, but we do joke about it.)
My "orphan obsession" doesn't come with a save-them-all mentality or a morbid curiosity. I like to see the individual face of someone who is ready - ready to see the love of God in a forever family and to remember that that face, that little (or sometimes big) person is extra special to the Creator of everything! That face that I can so quickly glance over means absolutely EVERYTHING to the God I worship! When I think about that and think about the magnitude of my Heavenly Father, I have cause to pause. Today, I searched on one of my favorite sites: Adoption.com photolistings. And I defined the search with the oldest child's age being 11. I looked through 4 pages of 75 kids per page before I got out of the 11!!! year olds!!! Do the math! That is at least 300 kids who are 11 - not 12, not 10 or 9... You get the idea...these are also kids in the US. NOT the world. To think that each child, Monique, La'shawn, Kaitlyn, and Timothy are on those pages and not to mention Juan and Anna. Each one means everything to God and God means everything to me!
I am not advocating that we all go out and adopt an 11 year old from the foster care system. Ha! That would be a bit of a disaster. But, I am advocating that we take a minute and look through the photolistings and every time we read a name, see a face, or have a pausing moment that stands out...we should stop and pray. Pray for that child first! Pray that they are experiencing the love of a family and the Heavenly Father where they are right now. Then look again. See them as a person who could be your neighbor's child, your friends child, or your relative. How much more concern do we give to those we know. (Not that it is great that it is true, but it is true none-the-less.) As we look at that face or get caught by that special name, remember how much God cares for that child and allow our hearts to be softened. Allow yourself to fall in love with that child and if you see that child's picture disappear, rejoice that they are with a family!
Take time with me, please, just to remember that the statistics show the "issue" but each number is a person. Remember what being a person means and how a statistic can't show that. Each number is someone who is hungry for eggs today or can't find their shoe. Each number is someone who is extra tired because they had more homework than time. Each number is a little boy or girl who cries themselves to sleep because they are frustrated and confused by being moved yet again. Each number is someone like...you? Maybe, but definitely someone like Him! We are ALL created in HIS image!
My "orphan obsession" doesn't come with a save-them-all mentality or a morbid curiosity. I like to see the individual face of someone who is ready - ready to see the love of God in a forever family and to remember that that face, that little (or sometimes big) person is extra special to the Creator of everything! That face that I can so quickly glance over means absolutely EVERYTHING to the God I worship! When I think about that and think about the magnitude of my Heavenly Father, I have cause to pause. Today, I searched on one of my favorite sites: Adoption.com photolistings. And I defined the search with the oldest child's age being 11. I looked through 4 pages of 75 kids per page before I got out of the 11!!! year olds!!! Do the math! That is at least 300 kids who are 11 - not 12, not 10 or 9... You get the idea...these are also kids in the US. NOT the world. To think that each child, Monique, La'shawn, Kaitlyn, and Timothy are on those pages and not to mention Juan and Anna. Each one means everything to God and God means everything to me!
I am not advocating that we all go out and adopt an 11 year old from the foster care system. Ha! That would be a bit of a disaster. But, I am advocating that we take a minute and look through the photolistings and every time we read a name, see a face, or have a pausing moment that stands out...we should stop and pray. Pray for that child first! Pray that they are experiencing the love of a family and the Heavenly Father where they are right now. Then look again. See them as a person who could be your neighbor's child, your friends child, or your relative. How much more concern do we give to those we know. (Not that it is great that it is true, but it is true none-the-less.) As we look at that face or get caught by that special name, remember how much God cares for that child and allow our hearts to be softened. Allow yourself to fall in love with that child and if you see that child's picture disappear, rejoice that they are with a family!
Take time with me, please, just to remember that the statistics show the "issue" but each number is a person. Remember what being a person means and how a statistic can't show that. Each number is someone who is hungry for eggs today or can't find their shoe. Each number is someone who is extra tired because they had more homework than time. Each number is a little boy or girl who cries themselves to sleep because they are frustrated and confused by being moved yet again. Each number is someone like...you? Maybe, but definitely someone like Him! We are ALL created in HIS image!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Entering In
"And even though I realize I cannot always mend or meet, I can enter in. I can enter into someone's pain and sit with them and know. This is Jesus. Not that He apologizes for the hard and the hurt, but that He enters in, He comes with us to the hard places. And so I continue to enter." A quote from Katie Davis' book: Kisses from Katie A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption.
Thank you, Katie for that quote that says exactly what I have been trying to say for so long. Sometimes the questions about why we do what we do are difficult to answer. They become impossible if our adopted or foster children's situation involves some sort of brokenness. Most adoptive and foster families can understand this whether you are adopting locally or from another country. The well meaning individual might simply ask about "issues" and then give counsel about how difficult those issue will be to "deal with." The reality for our kids is that their "issues" are their experience. They are going to have these things in their little lives with or without us. Some of these we as adoptive (and foster) parents can help with, but some we can't. Some things are just going to be a page or two of the story of their life. For me? I am going to "enter in." I am going to come along side of my child and children and just sit with them and know. I may not be able to fix the problem or even totally understand, but I can come into their life, give them love and a family, and just be. I will stay with them through the hard places and trust God for the outcome. It may not be until eternity that they find full healing, but I will be willing to enter into their story and go with them through the hard places knowing that Jesus has already done exactly that for me.
Thank you again, Katie, for speaking my heart in the first 2 chapters of your book. Thank you God for allowing Katie to understand so well!
Thank you, Katie for that quote that says exactly what I have been trying to say for so long. Sometimes the questions about why we do what we do are difficult to answer. They become impossible if our adopted or foster children's situation involves some sort of brokenness. Most adoptive and foster families can understand this whether you are adopting locally or from another country. The well meaning individual might simply ask about "issues" and then give counsel about how difficult those issue will be to "deal with." The reality for our kids is that their "issues" are their experience. They are going to have these things in their little lives with or without us. Some of these we as adoptive (and foster) parents can help with, but some we can't. Some things are just going to be a page or two of the story of their life. For me? I am going to "enter in." I am going to come along side of my child and children and just sit with them and know. I may not be able to fix the problem or even totally understand, but I can come into their life, give them love and a family, and just be. I will stay with them through the hard places and trust God for the outcome. It may not be until eternity that they find full healing, but I will be willing to enter into their story and go with them through the hard places knowing that Jesus has already done exactly that for me.
Thank you again, Katie, for speaking my heart in the first 2 chapters of your book. Thank you God for allowing Katie to understand so well!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Yipee!
Congratulations to the Selling family who has just received the temporary placement of a little one in need of care! We know they will be God's hands and feet for her. She will be truly blessed!!! Please remember the Sellings in your prayers as they adjust. I will get a list of "needs" as soon as possible. Enfamil Gentle Ease is the formula of choice and I am working on the rest. I hope to have more info. tomorrow.
Friday, June 10, 2011
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